My Great Great Grandfather Perry and his daughter Mary, my great grandmotherThe Daddy-Daughter relationship is a very crucial one. It deals with the peace of the home, the protection of women and the training of little girls that will one day be cornerstones. I have been brewing on this idea for sometime now. What is a better example of the modern Daddy-Daughter relationship, than a run of the mill Disney movie? Pick any one of them and you can see that even though the daughter loves her daddy, respect is lacking, because daughter knows best; because she knows it justifies her actions- her sneaking around, her lying to her father, her keeping secrets from him. To top it off, in the average movie, the DADDY apologizes for not understanding her and not letting her grow up to ’spread her wings’.
One thing Mother has stressed in our training as women, is that men need respect, women need love. It’s just the way we were created. If we as daughters don’t realize how much respect means to our fathers, we will never be able to fully understand them, therefore, able to honor them as it is emphasized over and over in Proverbs.
How do daughters show respect? First in the way we talk to our Fathers. They are our athority, protection and greatest ally. We cannot treat them like a chum or buddy, expecting equality.
Many girls have mastered the "Yes, sir!" and "No,sir!", but they lack the spirit of obedience and meekness. Although it is important to say, "Sir", it really is not in the words you say but in how you say the words. If our attitude is "my dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about" or "I know I am right about this" then it comes out in our tone. "For out of the abundance of the heart …"
How? I asked myself that question a hundred times, how do I give my dad my heart? The answer came through the DVD Dominion Minded Daughters, the Botkin girls were describing this.
"The heart is the seat of the emotions. It is where our thoughts are formed, our opinions are kept and our feelings are stored. We give our dads our hearts when we talk to him, when we tell him how we feel about everything and when we share our feelings."
Many girls would reply that "my dad doesn’t have time for that" or "he doesn’t listen to me". Oh darling, he listens far more than you think. Tell him what you did today, tell him about your problem with a friend, ask him questions. Girls, our dads are far smarter than we think. Dad’s want to be their daughter’s hero, but you have to let them. You have to share your dreams with him, with hopes and plans. He needs to know your dreams so he can help you build them.
A girls first introduction to men comes through knowing her Father, the way she learns to treat him is the way she will treat her husband. I can’t stress enough the importance of honor and respecting your Father. All Fathers are imperfect. All Fathers have shortcomings, but the one you have is the one God gave you. Never for one moment allow yourself to question whether you should have been born into a different family. God knows you better than you know yourself. He gave you what you needed, because He loves you.
The one complaint I hear from other girls the most is, "He doesn’t have time for me, he NEVER spends time with me." And I always have the same answer, "Do you spend time with him?"
You see, we tend to want our Fathers to do whatever we want to do, ‘bonding time’ must be when he is doing things for you. Oh, no no no. Let me illustrate a little.
My Dad is awesome, honestly, but he works a lot! He is a carpenter, something I really REALLY don’t like doing, because I end up handing him nails all day. BORING! But, if I want some time with Dad to pour out my heart, or share a new idea or just talk to him, that’s the time to do it. While he is working and I’m tagging behind handing him nails.
Don’t complain about your Father not spending time with you if you aren’t willing to do what interest him. When you are willing to do something you don’t enjoy just to spend time with your Dad, it sends a BIG message to him,
I am willing to do more than just say the words. I am willing to be uncomfortable, for you.
Girls, that is giving your daddy your heart.